


Fragile as Glass

by Fandomskilledmysociallife



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Speculation, Tags to be added, Viktor is hurt, no actual smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:33:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9084679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomskilledmysociallife/pseuds/Fandomskilledmysociallife
Summary: Viktor Nikiforov no longer believed emotions were necessary, after all you can get anything and everything you want with sex. He froze his heart after his former lover left. She had taught him the value of emotions was nonexistent and no one could bring his guard down or change his mind on the matter, that is until he met Yuuri KatsukiOr My friends and theorized too hard about Viktors backstory around episode six and this was born





	

When Yakov entered the locker room to lock up he did not expect to see a silhouetted figure crumpled on the benches, skates abandoned beside them as if they had been overcome with sorrow and were too weak to try to fake a semblance of normalcy. He cautiously approached the stranger, more distinguishable features forming as he closed the distance. Yakov recoiled in shock when he noticed the stark strands of silver hair thrown carelessly over a shoulder. 

"Yakov?" A soft and broken voice called. Concern grew in Yakov, his usually impassive face frowning in worry. Rushing to turn the lights on he finally saw Viktor. His brow furrowed when Viktor shifted and he saw the state he was in. Hair disheveled, clothes rumpled, eyes bloodshot, he stared as Viktor attempted a smile that fell flat on its face. 

He could practically see the fragility of Viktor's smile. Yakov reached forward to comfort his student, but he flinched away. A wary look crossed over his face, his shoulders tensed. Finally he looked up and met his teacher's eyes, his vibrant blue eyes were practically emotionless. Empty shells of their former beauty.

"Vitya are you alright?" The questions hung unanswered in the air. Viktor cocked his head to the side, confusion evident. In any other situation the action would come off as endearing, but with his lifeless eyes it only served to heighten Yakov's panic.

"Of course!" He replied with certainty, not a single indication of his inner turmoil shown. 

"It no longer matters at least. I know the solution to my predicament." He smiled softly but it never reached his eyes. He stood and swept the imaginary dirt off his jeans. 

Determined strides headed towards the door, however they froze in their tracks by a single question leaving Yakov's lips. "Does this have something do with her?" Viktor's features tighten slightly breaking his facade of calm. 

"Yes, but she has taught me a valuable lesson. That emotions make you weak. Vulnerable. Unwanted. That they are unneeded." Before he could leave the room, a tight grip on his forearm stopped him.

"And how do you plan to achieve that?" Yakov uttered through gritted teeth. Fear clouding his eyes. 

"It's simple my dear, innocent Yakov. Emotions are easily manipulated but they are also easily faked." His voice dripped with frost and he shook off his hold easily before walking out of the room. His words solidified by the loud banging of a closing door.

That night Viktor Nikiforov's heart froze to its core and unreachable walls were built around it. 

Faked smiles and imitated emotions working hard to hide a truly shattered man.

\--------------------------------------------

After that night he began to change, it was not a drastic change but a subtle one. The media reassured by a confident smile and a simple story of naive heartbreak. After thoroughly breaking a heart, the woman stepped on the pieces by not justifying her actions and leaving with only a single text left in her wake. 

Viktor acted as if nothing affected him in the situation, but behind a closed door, he let tears of hatred fall from his eyes, but not for her but rather for himself. He had failed her, that's why she left. It had been his mistakes. His emotions. Those thoughts ran rampant through his head and his heart froze a little more. 

He just wished she would disappear from his mind. Her eyes were the first thing he remembered, way they looked when she smiled. Then her nose, every breath against his neck.Finally her lips and with it came every empty promise made and said. He just wished it would all fade to black.

She was the victor in this pageantry but the only trophy she deserved was catastrophe.

\--------------------------------------------

It would be many years before anyone would pique Viktor's interest. Over time the vibrancy of his smile began to come back, but when the public eye disappeared, his smile fell. 

 

. After winning the gold, there was no sweet taste of victory, instead it was the bitter taste of boredom. He didn't know when his burning passion for skating had flickered out. Perhaps it had been when his heart had been shattered to pieces. 

Was there any real need to continue a long dead passion that no longer brought him joy? At least it was a distraction from the worrying uncertainty of anything bringing him happiness anymore. 

 

He was proven wrong that night, when he fell fast and hard for sparkling brown eyes.

\--------------------------------------------

He was not sure if his standards had plummeted to the ground, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He wouldn't question it, after all he hadn't felt that alive in so long. His face hurt from the smile that seem to be permanent. When he thought of those brown eyes and his smiling face he began to squirm happily with dopey smile on his face. 

He couldn't fall asleep, he refused to, he was afraid to succumb to sleep. He couldn't let the warmth in his heart slip through his fingers. He refused to let of this bliss. 

The spark in his eyes finally returned, but in the morning it was stolen by the very person who had put it there in the first place.

\--------------------------------------------

What had Viktor been expecting? A tearful reunion? Anything would be better than this, a small smile even a wave. Anything to show he had meant anything, that they had something. The only thing he asked for was acknowledgement and he had been harshly refused. 

Now he could only stare at the retreating form of his chance at happiness. 

He managed to hold all his questions in, but his insecurities left from the deep recesses of his mind to the forefront of it. What had he done wrong? A bitter laugh escaped his lips followed by a scoff. " I should really learn my lesson. The only thing that emotions bring are misery," he sighed before the heavy tears fell from his eyes. Had he really meant nothing? 

The tears only came faster at the thought but this is what he deserved.

 

\--------------------------------------------

Viktor continued to fake a smile for the cameras, but once they disappeared, he couldn't keep the unrelenting onslaught of his thoughts at bay. His own ambitions were a poisonous blade puncturing his psyche. 

The only release from his unyielding mind was composing music. Even then he knew his escape could not last forever, he knew the compositions would soon be done and soon he'd be forced onto ice once again. How ironic that his dead passion was his only reason for living, but staying on the ice, skating like some attraction, was slowly killing him.

Just the thought of more years of uninspired routines brought a swift headache, but this was his life. The "Skating Legend Viktor Nikiforov," he would never be anything more. Everyone loved him, was inspired by him to begin skating, but they did not love him, they loved a mask. 

A facade of perfection that was cracking at the seams, that's all they ever saw. Everyone, everyone, was love in with a man that was only created to hide a broken heart, a broken spirit. An ice cold heart, protected and shattered, was hidden by a warm smile.

All of their affections were wasted on a man that never existed in the first place.

 

\--------------------------------------------

Viktor's inspiration returned to him but only for a fleeting moment. He created a story of an unattainable women seduced by a playboy and when she was finally ready to give her heart away, he disappeared. The more he thought about the story. The most he began to imagine himself in the situation.

The soft laughter, sparkling brown eyes, the genuine smile he had, all of brought him happiness but it was underlined with pain. How he craved acknowledgment from someone who was practically a stranger, but it didn't feel that way. It felt like they had known each other for years. It was clear, however that the feeling were not mutual. 

Viktor tried to be brave, or at the very least seem brave, but he was not, he was a coward at heart. He never tried to speak to Yuuri, too afraid of rejection again, but he was more afraid of feeling their connection again. If the spark reignited their flame, it would be something tangible, something real, but it would also be breakable. 

A single word could ruin it and the very thought of it terrified him. 

\--------------------------------------------

It had been months, months, without contact, but when he awoke his notifications had been blowing up and seemed it had been like this for quite a while. It was the same video over and over again. Sent to him, tweeted to him, any form you could think of people sent it. 

He figured it was a silly thing Chris had posted and it had come to backfire like always. Shock filled his body, when he saw the thumbnail, he never thought Yuuri would ever give him the time of day. This, he was not expecting this. After watching the video several times he was baffled, what could it mean, did it mean anything at all? 

Did he really care if it did? He had to take his chance. What did he have to lose? His career, his friends, his fans, all the things he worked so hard to achieve?

Could he really give all that up on a flimsy assumption? He had everything to lose. He would live in constant fear of never having a stable fall back. He might not ever be able to come back from this. 

There was so many ways this could go wrong, every little thing, but Viktor would no longer be a coward. He could not stand back and let life pass him by. 

 

With a shuddering sigh he decided, he would throw it all away to see that smile again. He would risk everything to chase after Yuuri. 

He had everything to lose, but that did not deter him. He had to chase after that warmth, the bliss he felt when he was with Yuuri. 

He had to chase after his happiness. He refused to taste the bitter tang of boredom any longer. 

He had to trust his instincts and emotions, after suppressing them for so long. For years, he refused to listen, to even recognize them, but Yuuri was the first person to make him listen, to make his heart flutter, to let his guard done if only for one night and as dangerous as that was, he would not let fear hold him back. He couldn't, not this time. Not again. 

This was his chance for joy, perhaps another chance to fall in love and he would not allow it to slip through his fingers a second time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my first fic for Yoi but please tell me your thoughts and if I should continue! Kudos and comments appreciated


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